Tell Me What You’d Rather do on a Monday and I'll Tell You Who You Are

Sunrise in Siargao

“What would you do if you don’t need to earn money the next day?”

I asked all my recent bumble dates about that. :)

Let me be clear: This is not an essay to romanticize being poor. I absolutely love money with all my heart.

It does buy happiness. But it is NOT happiness. And it is not supposed to be the center of our lives. I say this because even though I came from a middle-class family which I only became aware of the moment I started paying my taxes, I never felt the lack of money growing up. I never understood as a child what being poor meant because I was always busy doing something and playing all the time. And I’m extremely lucky for that.

I know that the family’s resources are limited because at a young age, I listened to my parents talk about money A LOT. I remembered words like “utang” [debts] and “tuition” in one conversation. I was a non-voting member of this roundtable and they probably didn’t know I was listening. What we lack in money, we made up in presence. What I remember the most growing up is my mom being present in all the programs I participated in- - - dancing, writing, singing, swimming, competing, playing! And by just by being there made me feel extremely rich.

When I moved to the big city to study and work, I was slapped with the reality of how poor I was… ‘cause I couldn’t afford to buy so many things. :D But how much do I actually need?

My early 20s’ were spent comparing myself to others while the late 20s was purely survival. I didn’t even have the time to see what others have because I was busy starting a business broke, all while uprooting myself from the city to live in Siargao. But this made me realize that I can live with pre-loved, one-dollar clothes from thrift stores, a phone that I don’t need to upgrade in the next five years until it’s stolen or broken, and fresh vegetables & fish everyday for the rest of my life.

At the same time, I will certainly afford a flight that is “calling me”, get a high quality running shoes that I will overuse in the next three years, consume an authentic matcha from Japan like water, take courses that is worth more than a thousand dollars, and never hesitate to treat my parents to a good meal. This is why I loooooove money!

“Can we have free money?”

My close island friends and I are in the season of… “I need more money. How can I have more money?” So someone brought up this amazing yet still-out-of-reach program called Universal Basic Income (UBI). For context, I never really researched extensively about it so what you’re getting is the simplest concept in my head. If it happens, we get to receive a basic, unconditional pay from the government, primarily to provide financial security for everyone. The amount is definitely gonna be up for a long debate. But considering we don’t have to work for money… what a Utopia, right?

So we posed a hypothetical question to the group- - what if AI already got all the jobs and robots are taking over the world, what is there to do? And we all get UBI?

I'm not sure I'll live long enough to see Universal Basic Income become a reality. And with my current confidence in our government which is probably somewhere deep under the ocean, I'm not exactly holding my breath.

But we don't need UBI to understand how another person thinks.

My real question behind that question is: What would you rather do on a Monday if you already had all the money you needed?

Because this answer reveals so much—what we value most, how we define enough, and what we believe money is actually for.

The Answers I Gathered

On my recent trip abroad, I ended up meeting three strangers through Bumble. This is not a sponsored post haha But I found it fascinating to listen to the stories of people, and watch them get vulnerable (or defensive) when this question is asked.

Date #1 paused before answering. "But we'd still need a purpose, right?" he asked. "Of course."

He took another sip of his beer while I patiently blew on my very hot tea. He seemed like digesting the question slowly before he asked me to simplify the question. So I did.

"It's Sunday. You already have enough money to live comfortably for the next month. Tomorrow is Monday. Instead of going to work, what would you rather be doing?"

His answer? Maybe writing. He wasn’t very sure. He didn't hate his job, but he didn't love it either. But maybe for a start, he'd spend much more of his day writing. (or journaling?!)

Date #2 took an entirely different approach.

He was convinced Universal Basic Income would never happen which was a slight let-down ‘cause this is a hypothetical question! We spent almost an hour walking along the river, and half of that time was dedicated to him explaining why labor and capitalism would simply evolve instead. In the end...he never really answered the question. (Haha.)

Date #3 love would travel more and probably live in a more remote place closer to nature. He is a big creative and currently finding his way back to himself after getting slaved by a big, capitalist company. So being in Asia seems like a main quest to find out his purpose.

I could go on and peel layer by layer how these different people ended up thinking differently, but I swore to myself that I won’t psychoanalyze the people I date just because I can. To conclude, none of them ended up being more than a bumble date. But it was nice data- gathering, being treated like a girly girl every now and then. :)

So… going back to the question.

I asked the same question to my friends and it reminded me why I love hanging out with these people. One said, she would spend time creating animal shelters for the rescued dogs & cats and probably have her own garden.

Another said he would create more music!

I did have this presumption that most people would do art if money is not one making the decision. But I have a very small sample size to make a claim.

As for me, I thought of a hundred ways to spend my Monday if money is given freely.

For a start, I would surf & cycle for hours, write more stories and poems, learn to play new instrument, read more books, hangout with my mom, and help more people going through the complications of diabetes. And while I speak about it… I almost missed it— I am somehow already doing some pieces of that!

We spend our lives postponing the life we'd choose if we were free. But perhaps parts of that life are already here. We just want to do more of it. So what exactly are we waiting for?